you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
