just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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