but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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