just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
