I am in a vortex of obligation.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
