somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
