did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize