I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i think i have herpe
just one?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
