Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
