you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
