Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
