I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
where are my eyebrows?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize