The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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