Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Alive.
So much puke
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
