recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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