youre lurking in front of me
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
