I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
