I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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