I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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