kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
