i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
this will be a night to untag.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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