I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
