two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
