i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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