it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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