i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She even gives head with a lisp.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
