We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
