walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
