no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
