I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
