What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
