So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
