At least make sure they are 18
Why
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
