Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
