Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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