Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
