just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize