woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
