He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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