Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
