Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
