he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
whose parrot is this?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
