Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
