How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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