Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

My room smells like vodka and shame

Fav 7 2223 977
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober

Fav 28 1403 4172
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(253): View more from Washington

I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.

Fav 13 5115 1344
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(408): View more from California

Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.

Fav 22 1685 4614
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(315): View more from New York

yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...

Fav 13 2246 969
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'

Fav 5 2967 1953
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(206): View more from Washington

Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.

(1-206): View more from Washington

Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?

Fav 8 2054 1340
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(785): View more from Kansas

Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.

Fav 2 685 394
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(507): View more from Minnesota

Waffles and pussy, what else is there?

Fav 7 614 321
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