You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
