yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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