My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
