Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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