The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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