ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
my poor anus
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
