We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
