It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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