Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize