I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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