I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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