She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
